Several weeks ago I started watching a Chinese series about a detective and an insurance agent--I don't watch TV very often but once I start I can get quite hooked on it. Anyways, this is one of the very few where I actually enjoy watching. Everything is good and funny up till the last episode, where the main character suddenly just dies. Now everyone would say--it's just a story... (usually I would say the same thing)--but this time I got a bit upset about it. I almost felt like I have been tricked into watching this--everything was leading to a good ending--why spoil it?? (It's totally unnecessary!).
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Happy ending
I despise stories that have sad endings...
Several weeks ago I started watching a Chinese series about a detective and an insurance agent--I don't watch TV very often but once I start I can get quite hooked on it. Anyways, this is one of the very few where I actually enjoy watching. Everything is good and funny up till the last episode, where the main character suddenly just dies. Now everyone would say--it's just a story... (usually I would say the same thing)--but this time I got a bit upset about it. I almost felt like I have been tricked into watching this--everything was leading to a good ending--why spoil it?? (It's totally unnecessary!).
I guess that was ~24 hours of my life wasted... :P
Several weeks ago I started watching a Chinese series about a detective and an insurance agent--I don't watch TV very often but once I start I can get quite hooked on it. Anyways, this is one of the very few where I actually enjoy watching. Everything is good and funny up till the last episode, where the main character suddenly just dies. Now everyone would say--it's just a story... (usually I would say the same thing)--but this time I got a bit upset about it. I almost felt like I have been tricked into watching this--everything was leading to a good ending--why spoil it?? (It's totally unnecessary!).
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Quietness
These days everyone talks about priorities. Me in project management is no exception. That's what I do at work. I schedule. I weigh out what's important and what's not important; what needs to be done asap and what can wait--with the end goal in mind. I interact with different people in different teams, making sure everything that's supposed to be done is done (in a timely manner). With the million things happening at the same time with different teams, I always try to keep myself in high alert... the extreme concentration (and the workload of course) seems to extend itself to the after hours... and i find myself working longer and longer into the night.
End result, of course, is that I had less and less time for myself. Everyone *knows* that there should be a work/life balance; everyone *knows* that we should spend some quiet time every day and reflect on how we do that day, etc. etc. yet I couldn't seem to do it. Every day I tell myself that I'll spend that night to think... but then I almost always end up bringing work home (NB: I fully recognize that it's a choice that I intentionally make), so the reflection time again gets delayed.
Anyways, a few days ago, when I was losing patience when friends talked to me at lunch, I knew I had to do something about it... so I took a 25-min powerwalk (half of my usual running route) by myself over lunch... boy was it refreshing!! I got to think and actually "face" myself... I even sorted out (at least a little bit) my struggles and had some prayer time.
So now I will block off my calendar for half an hour every day for reflection at lunch--don't know how many days i can do that but I will try my best!!
***
My friend emailed me a response to my last blog. I thought it was very beautiful... there's a difference between my headknowledge and who I am (personality)... so we'll see if I can truly figure this out:
End result, of course, is that I had less and less time for myself. Everyone *knows* that there should be a work/life balance; everyone *knows* that we should spend some quiet time every day and reflect on how we do that day, etc. etc. yet I couldn't seem to do it. Every day I tell myself that I'll spend that night to think... but then I almost always end up bringing work home (NB: I fully recognize that it's a choice that I intentionally make), so the reflection time again gets delayed.
Anyways, a few days ago, when I was losing patience when friends talked to me at lunch, I knew I had to do something about it... so I took a 25-min powerwalk (half of my usual running route) by myself over lunch... boy was it refreshing!! I got to think and actually "face" myself... I even sorted out (at least a little bit) my struggles and had some prayer time.
So now I will block off my calendar for half an hour every day for reflection at lunch--don't know how many days i can do that but I will try my best!!
***
My friend emailed me a response to my last blog. I thought it was very beautiful... there's a difference between my headknowledge and who I am (personality)... so we'll see if I can truly figure this out:
Quietness is Truthfulness
Truthulness is Courage
Courage is Love
When you are ready to love,
Quietness naturally arrives.
When
you quiet yourself,
Love naturally arrives.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Love
A friend emailed another friend a poem on the topic of love...
I don't know why I'm still amazed at these words. It's nothing new--I suppose I should say that I can probably say the same thing myself... yet it's just different knowing something in one's head and actually knowing something in one's heart. And reading this does make me doubt myself--if I can't do what it says, does it make me less capable of loving? Or have I just not loved yet?
This past weekend two of my good friends got engaged. To me they are almost a perfect couple. Their support for each other, their influence over people around them--God surely has shone Himself through this rel'nship... at least to me. Even though I know every couple is different, it makes me wonder whether I have been approaching my own rel'nship in a wrong way. If I am not capable of loving this way--then perhaps it means that I am not ready to love yet...
What do I have to do--to acquire that quietness in me to sort through everything?
Love is friendship that has caught fire.
It is quiet understanding and mutual confidence
sharing and forgiving.
It is loyalty through good and bad times
It settles for less than perfection and
makes allowances for human weaknesses.
Love is content with the present and hopes for the future
and it does not brood over the past
If you have love in your life
it can make up for a great many things that are missing
If you don't have love in your life
no matter what else there is, it is not enough
Love does not make the world go around;
Love is what makes the ride worthwile
Love and marriage, you can't have one without the other
If you love someone, you say it...say it right then, out loud.
I don't know why I'm still amazed at these words. It's nothing new--I suppose I should say that I can probably say the same thing myself... yet it's just different knowing something in one's head and actually knowing something in one's heart. And reading this does make me doubt myself--if I can't do what it says, does it make me less capable of loving? Or have I just not loved yet?
This past weekend two of my good friends got engaged. To me they are almost a perfect couple. Their support for each other, their influence over people around them--God surely has shone Himself through this rel'nship... at least to me. Even though I know every couple is different, it makes me wonder whether I have been approaching my own rel'nship in a wrong way. If I am not capable of loving this way--then perhaps it means that I am not ready to love yet...
What do I have to do--to acquire that quietness in me to sort through everything?
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