Two weeks after my long vacation, I really feel like I need another one.
I always know that in project management, we need to stay on top of how a project is going--the balance of the triangle (cost, quality, and time) is the key. Usually if something is behind schedule, I try to pull a few strings and beg and convince the downstream people to work a little harder to get things back on track. The problem is--unlike before these days I have absolutely no control over anything. Deadlines and milestones go by, and no one pays attention to them. It's just "oh, we didn't meet the timeline" - and life goes on. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Doesn't matter how much I go kicking and screaming. No one listens. My emails go to a black hole, and my phone calls are connected to voice mail most of the time... I feel more and more like a reporter at my workplace just trying to know what's going on--BECAUSE PEOPLE NEVER COPY ME ON EMAILS!! It's esp. harder because these are like senior senior people and you can't really yell at them.
It just shouldn't be this way. And I can't believe how long it takes to make a simple decision. People rather delay the project timelines than to make any decision. A, B, and C discovers a problem. They talk among themselves for a week; then finally decide to go to D and presents a situation that requires change in plan - D says meeting is required. Then they wait for the next meeting (often in 2 weeks' time) to discuss - outcome of the meeting is to have another meeting to resolve this. Finally a decision is made, then a new addition to the project, E, comes along who says "oh no, I think we need to reconsider this..." and the cycle starts all over again. After 3 months, we are still in Stage 1.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
More random thoughts
Can't help but to continue on one particular thought.
I imagine it's not hard to know when you're losing a battle before you even start fighting. It's not that I'm fighting anyways. There is no way to win. I have always known that. Once someone forms an impression/opinion of you, it takes forever to wipe that out of their mind - no matter how hard you try.
And scars - don't we love going back to them and making them bleed again. Things that happened in the past - someone got hurt because of you, even though it's unintentional on your part). You think over time people will forget - but you're so wrong. If ever an argument comes up, you are going to hear from things that happen years ago, and then you can't say anything - because YOU ARE JUST WRONG. PLAIN WRONG. ALWAYS WRONG.
The one thought that keeps sticking and won't go away, is how bad it feels when people don't have ANY confidence in you. That seriously hurts. (That, by the way, reminds me of something else. And I'm eternally grateful for that enlightenment!)
Hmmm... enough rant from me for the day. I hope that once I let this out, life will go back to normal.
What a comfort to know that God always forgives.
I imagine it's not hard to know when you're losing a battle before you even start fighting. It's not that I'm fighting anyways. There is no way to win. I have always known that. Once someone forms an impression/opinion of you, it takes forever to wipe that out of their mind - no matter how hard you try.
And scars - don't we love going back to them and making them bleed again. Things that happened in the past - someone got hurt because of you, even though it's unintentional on your part). You think over time people will forget - but you're so wrong. If ever an argument comes up, you are going to hear from things that happen years ago, and then you can't say anything - because YOU ARE JUST WRONG. PLAIN WRONG. ALWAYS WRONG.
The one thought that keeps sticking and won't go away, is how bad it feels when people don't have ANY confidence in you. That seriously hurts. (That, by the way, reminds me of something else. And I'm eternally grateful for that enlightenment!)
Hmmm... enough rant from me for the day. I hope that once I let this out, life will go back to normal.
What a comfort to know that God always forgives.
Back to work / random thoughts
The past 4 weeks have passed by fast. I seemed to have accomplished a lot. I rushed like crazy at work just so that I can take 3 weeks to go on the China/HK trip. I left, I came back, and it seemed like I haven't been gone, and I spent last week trying desperately to catch up and get updates of all the things that have happened while I was gone.
Some companies force employees to take vacation if they have not be taking days off for a long time. I know my new company is like that. However, I really doubt if it really helps people relax - because the fact of the matter is that the amount of work needed to get done does not change.
Anyways, I'm not really complaining. I like my work and I can whine once in a while (esp. with coworkers) - but I will put in whatever amount of time needed to get things done.
***
A lot of things happened in the past week after I came back. So many times I wanted to jot down my thoughts, but procrastination stopped me. So I guess here I will highlight some of the noteworthy thoughts:
1) Finally understood that if friendships aren't meant to be, don't force it. Also finally understood that it's best to keep a distance to everyone (with the exception of very few) --because you never know how much it will hurt when disagreement arises and someone tells you they don't care how you feel. It hurts more when you actually care. Yah, words can kill --but you still have to swallow it because you have no other choice.
2) Sometimes I really wonder why tragedies happen. People can debate over their root cause and what is to blame (society, the person, etc. etc.) --but the only ones who actually understand the pain are the ones going through it or are in some way related to the incident. Listening to all sorts of people arguing for their viewpoints makes me even more upset. My prayers go out to those who actually have to live it.
3) I finally overcame my fear of changing the color of my hair (yes, I'm still troubled by the opinion that "only bad girls will dye hair" from years ago) and did some slight non-noticeable highlights. The color doesn't come out like what I expected but I actually like it. Well, it's just for me to see anyways. I desperately wanted a change with my hair (you have no idea how frustrated I was in HK - and how close I was to risking a disaster and almost going to perm my hair in HK!).
4) My church, ahhh, my church. On Sunday I returned to worship at my home church, after 3 weeks of vacation and one Sunday of Vancouver Sun Run. It was such a sweet feeling. I will certainly miss it if one day I choose to leave town.
5) Sun Run. I am so very proud of my friend who finished the 10k run - never stopping! My next goal is to train her for a half-marathon next! Too bad W couldn't run it in the midst of a terrible flu... I would have liked to see him beat me =)
6) A friend once said, there are simply joys in life. I experienced one of those last week. I cooked a soup (Papaya, dried octopus, pork) that was just... PERFECT.
MWWWWHHHHAAAAA.
Some companies force employees to take vacation if they have not be taking days off for a long time. I know my new company is like that. However, I really doubt if it really helps people relax - because the fact of the matter is that the amount of work needed to get done does not change.
Anyways, I'm not really complaining. I like my work and I can whine once in a while (esp. with coworkers) - but I will put in whatever amount of time needed to get things done.
***
A lot of things happened in the past week after I came back. So many times I wanted to jot down my thoughts, but procrastination stopped me. So I guess here I will highlight some of the noteworthy thoughts:
1) Finally understood that if friendships aren't meant to be, don't force it. Also finally understood that it's best to keep a distance to everyone (with the exception of very few) --because you never know how much it will hurt when disagreement arises and someone tells you they don't care how you feel. It hurts more when you actually care. Yah, words can kill --but you still have to swallow it because you have no other choice.
2) Sometimes I really wonder why tragedies happen. People can debate over their root cause and what is to blame (society, the person, etc. etc.) --but the only ones who actually understand the pain are the ones going through it or are in some way related to the incident. Listening to all sorts of people arguing for their viewpoints makes me even more upset. My prayers go out to those who actually have to live it.
3) I finally overcame my fear of changing the color of my hair (yes, I'm still troubled by the opinion that "only bad girls will dye hair" from years ago) and did some slight non-noticeable highlights. The color doesn't come out like what I expected but I actually like it. Well, it's just for me to see anyways. I desperately wanted a change with my hair (you have no idea how frustrated I was in HK - and how close I was to risking a disaster and almost going to perm my hair in HK!).
4) My church, ahhh, my church. On Sunday I returned to worship at my home church, after 3 weeks of vacation and one Sunday of Vancouver Sun Run. It was such a sweet feeling. I will certainly miss it if one day I choose to leave town.
5) Sun Run. I am so very proud of my friend who finished the 10k run - never stopping! My next goal is to train her for a half-marathon next! Too bad W couldn't run it in the midst of a terrible flu... I would have liked to see him beat me =)
6) A friend once said, there are simply joys in life. I experienced one of those last week. I cooked a soup (Papaya, dried octopus, pork) that was just... PERFECT.
MWWWWHHHHAAAAA.
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